Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Meeting a MEATHEAD

Gyms get a lot of flack for being Meat Markets, and honestly I think its ridiculous. Some women just can't take a compliment. As a woman, after I get done being repulsed by the beefed up creepers who ogle me (and everyone else) at the gym, I often think "dang girl you lookin fine." Its an ego boost and I like it. No matter how creepy, stupid or ugly a guys is, his interest is at least a little bit flattering. Just because he still lives with his mom doesn't mean he can't appreciate beauty when he sees it.

Not to mention the prime cuts of grade A beef I've noticed for myself....

This being said, I've compiled a list of flattering comments my fellow gym members have used to brighten my day:

Hey baby, check out my balls of steel (while holding two kettle bells)

Dang girl, you just broke my heart rate monitor!

I had to use the elliptical today instead of the treadmill cause you made my knees so weak.


In the steam room: Stop breathing so hard. I know I'm hot but you're fogging up the room....Get it? Like if your breath was really the reason it--ok bye.

Uh oh. You've got some sweat in your cleavage. Let me give you a hand with that.

Can I buy you a protein shake?

I'm a personal trainer...........................No really, I am...........Just thought you should know.

All the weights are being used, could I just bench you? (no) Oh, ok. Wanna sit on my back while I do my pushups? (no) Ok, well maybe I could just pick you up and- (please don't touch me)

This sauna got even hotter when you walked in.

While he shows her his six pack: I've got six friends who think you should go out with me. Majority rules.

I hope you take Zumba, cause I can't wait to see what those hips can do.

Can I loan you my handkerchief to wipe away your sweat?

While she's doing bench presses: Oh honey, you've already got everything you need in that department.


Fat guy: I've got a lot of weight I'd like to lose, but you're 130 lbs I'd never let go of.

I'm going to let you feel my muscles, and if you're nice, I'll let you feel a part of me thats even harder...

I'd just like to eat you up, and I'm sure it'd be worth every calorie.

I'm feeling the burn in a few extra places today.

I'd be a dumb-bell if I didn't come talk to you.

I saw you behind me in the mirror while I was watching myself flex. You almost distracted me for a moment.

I couldn't have done half as many chinups if I hadn't been able to see down your shirt from the top.

You must be anaerobic cause you just took my breath away.



Ok fine I admit it, I made this up. I just wish guys would say this stuff to me. I guess I'm a little bit sad because I found out Grocery Boy has a girlfriend, and John Lindsey quit responding to my emails cause he thought I was crazy. Boys suck. That is all.

17 comments:

  1. HAhahahahaha Dani - you had me going there! As i read your list ...I'm thinking, God what sort of a gym is this!! I must be going to SUCH a boring gym!I had someone's granny say hello to me once in the gym, everyone in mine is plugged into their mp3 players and working away and me...I'm too red and hot and sweaty to even notice anyone else.
    Thanks for the giggle - and maybe this time next year someone under 70 might notice me in the gym...a girl can dream
    Dawn

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  2. Lyndy Butler has a funny song she wrote called Meat Market but I don't think its on her blog or facebook page. I heard it a long time ago. Funny though!!

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  3. To funny! I to was wondering where I find a gym like that! I could use a little of that incentive!

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  4. What's a shame is that as I was reading the list I was sorta wishing that I'd gotten such compliments at the gym. Besides creepy, it's a good laugh at least! Thanks for stopping by my blog, Danielle :)))

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  5. That was awesme! Loved it..I was like..."Do people really say those things?" obviously I have not heard those comments. :) Thanks for the laugh! Love Love Love the "Dang girl...you broke my heart monitor"

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  6. absolutely love your blog! so funny, lots of laughs. and forget about "grocery boy" go pick up some of those meat heads with balls of steel and hard groin muscles. ;) i am sure they're a better source of protein anyway ha ha :) thanks for the laughs!

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  7. Haha! I can only imagine how the gym must be for such a cute gal! ;)

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  8. LOVED the balls of steel! I was wondering what gym you were going to! :)

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  9. Hilarious! Thanks for stopping by my blog!

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  10. LMAO Those are some great lines. I need to get my lazy a** to the gym one of these days, if only to check out the Meat!

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  11. Seriously needed that laugh tonight. :)

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  12. Very funny! I honestly thought these were true...

    By the way, thank you very much for posting on my blog. That meant a lot. It was a tough first step. Thanks

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  13. I would never go back to that gym! haha. Sexual harassment while you work out! What fun :D

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  14. LOL I loved this post! Made me laugh!!

    Thank you for your post on my blog! The vajazzling was just something I couldn't let slide by without a blog post from me about it lol

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  15. Oh, honey, I just burned a zillion calories just laughing my butt off! Thank you for brightening my day! xoxoxo

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  16. LOL thats funny, I was really thinking you were getting hit on like that! I was like damn, no one ever says stuff like that to me! Haha

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  17. Reading this I was thinking, WHAT GYM IS THIS?! Haha, this made me laugh! Funny though, I live in suburban Boston and my gym's demographic tends to be the 35-50 crowd (I'm 27)...I like to get in and out at the gym - not really a friends at the gym type of guy!

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Talk to me Harry, tell me all about it!